masterguru

February 13, 2016

Thanks.

Greatly appreciated

April 28, 2014

Hermes

How come you get all these beautiful women.

Please leave some for us poor guys!.

March 18, 2014

Any luck with this?

Thanks

November 2, 2013

noone22

any luck with this.

Thanks

August 27, 2013

Can find it at forexwinners.net

Thank the orignal loader

August 27, 2013

May offend some, but funny

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyBap-T4ZDU‎

April 19, 2013

Any luck with this?

Thanks!

nicklam66 · April 7, 2013

More links

Download(Bitshare)

http://bitshare.com/files/4r3mc5ys/4eQxuGg---E-Tr-The_F_po_Course.part01.rar.html

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March 6, 2013

Seniors are the nations leading carriers of AIDS!

Hearing AIDS

Band AIDS

Roll AIDS

Walking AIDS

Medical AIDS

Government AIDS

Most of all - Monetary AID to their kids!

The golden years have come at last - I cannot see,

I cannot pee, I cannot chew, I canno screw. My

memory shrinks - my hearing stinks - no sense of

smell- I look like hell! My body is drooping - got

trouble pooping. The golden years have come at last.

The golden years can kiss my a**!

February 16, 2012

Money

It can buy you a House,

But not a Home.

It can buy you a Bed,

But not Sleep.

It can buy you a Clock,

But not Time.

It can buy you a Book,

But not Knowledge.

It can buy you a Position,

But not Respect.

It can buy you Medicine,

But not Health.

It can buy you Blood,

But not Life.

It can buy you Sex,

But not Love.

So you see, money isn't everything. The best things in life can't be bought, and often we destroy ourselves trying!

I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want to take away your needless pain and suffering...

So send me all your money and I will suffer for you.

A truer Friend than me you will never find.

CASH ONLY, PLEASE

Swordfih · January 13, 2012

Marriage and Men

- When a man decides to marry, it may be the last decision he'll ever make.

- Some men who speak with authority at work know enough to bow to a higher authority at home

- A dish towel will certainly wipe the contented look off a married man's face

- Love is the quest, marriage is the conquest, divorce is the inquest.

- An engagement is an urge on the verge of a merge.

- Marriage brings music to a man's life. He learns to play second fiddle.

- Getting married is one mistake every man should make.

- A well-informed man is one whose wife has just told him what she thinks of him.

- Courtship, unlike proper punctuation, is a period before a sentence.

- The argument you just won with your wife isn't over yet.

and lastly...

- Before criticizing your wife's faults, you must remember it may have been these very defects which prevented her from getting a better husband than the one she married!

⭐ scar9801 · September 12, 2011

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

August 29, 2011

I think it is a signal service

$197/month

Like lot of experts out there, he can make you lots of money in forex !!!!!! lol

I watched his long and boring video. At the end of the video

he said that unlike other signal service he is only going to charge one time fee of $198. But when you go to the order page it shows recurring payment

August 15, 2011

c0py, may you be blessed for your kindness and generosity

Thanks

July 19, 2011

Dementia Test

Here are four questions along with a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, just answer off the top of your head.

First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

Answer: First? Wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you're wrong again. It's impossible to overtake the last person.

Third Question:

This must be done in your head only. Don't use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000 Now add 10. What is the total? Scroll down for answer.

Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Answer: Nunu? Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again.

Bonus Question (this one is really easy):

Again, without using a calculator or pencil and paper -- You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus, and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.

What was the name of the bus driver?

What do you mean, "How could I possibly know that?" For crying out loud, on't you remember? It was YOU!

On the bright side, you don't have to feel so bad when you forget to pick up eggs on the way home from work.

June 6, 2011

Right choice

tradesafe · June 6, 2011

In an office:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER...... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:

AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

mashki · May 17, 2011

One more link

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April 28, 2011

A white-haired old man walked into a jewelry store on a Friday, with a beautiful young lady at his side.

"I'm looking for a special ring for my girlfriend," he said.

Our jeweler looked through our stock and took out an outstanding ring priced at $5,000.

"I don't think you understand-I want something very unique," the man said.

At that, our now very excited jeweler went and fetched our special stock from the safe. "Here's one stunning ring at $40,000."

The girls eyes sparkled, and the man said that he would take it.

"How are you paying?" asked our jeweler.

"I'll pay by check; but of course the bank will want to make sure that everything is in order, so I'll write a check and you can phone the bank tomorrow, and then I'll fetch the ring on Monday."

Monday morning, our very disappointed jeweler phoned the man. "You lied, there's no money in that account."

"I know, sorry, but can you imagine what a FANTASTIC weekend I had?"

coffee99 · April 18, 2011

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him.

One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Shortly after that they were married.

A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him.

Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek.

At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone. While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him.

He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRIIIPPPP !! It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead.

While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning each time with his napkin. When he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in.

Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.