Indo Investasi Joke Thread

[waip]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

A car mechanic received a repair order that said to check for a clanking noise when going around corners so he took the car out for a test drive and made a right turn, then a left turn, each time hearing a loud clunk.

 

When he arrived back at the garage he returned the car to the service manager with this note: 'Removed bowling ball from trunk.'

[waip]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

1. I got in a fight with my wife last night and it was totally my fault.

 

She asked me what was on the TV and I said: dust.

 

Didn't go too well after that.

 

2. 'You should be ashamed,' the father told his son, Andy, 'When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he used to walk ten miles every day to get to school.'

 

'Really?' Andy responded. 'Well, when he was your age, he was president.'

 

3. Paul, a senior official in his company, walked into a London bank and asked to see the loan's manager.

 

He said he was going to America on business for two weeks and needed to borrow £10,000 [$19,000USD]. The loan manager said that the bank would need some collateral for such a loan.

 

Paul immediately handed over the keys of a Mercedes that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as security for the loan.

 

An employee then drove the Mercedes into the bank's underground garage and parked it there. Two weeks later the Paul returned, repaid the £10,000 and the interest, which amounted to some £9.41 [$18USD].

 

The loan officer said, 'We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow £10,000?'

 

With a broad grin Paul responded, 'Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for less than £10?'

[William1713006271]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

This's nice. Thanks bro. Kudos given.

 

Regards,

 

For those who have a difficult time understanding how we can go from crisis to recovery in a few short months, here it is in simple terms:

 

It is the month of August, on the shores of the Black Sea. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

 

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town.

 

He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.

 

The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher.

 

The butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig grower.

 

The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel.

 

The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the town's ********** that in these hard times, gave her "services" on credit.

 

The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.

 

The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.

 

At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.

 

No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.

 

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States Government is doing business

[Gillybet]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

I laughed at this one....

[center:1038iub8]The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried.[/center:1038iub8]

:))

[waip]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

desperate students 2:

[waip]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

desperate student 1:

[bullforever]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

 

'"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

 

'"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.

 

'"And what do you deduce from that?"

 

Watson ponders for a minute.

 

'"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

 

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you fool!" he says.

 

"Someone has stolen our tent!"

[waip]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

desperate students 3:

[pasavento]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

Daddy, How was I born?

 

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

 

The father answers, Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.

 

Then I set up a date via email with your Mum and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

 

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little 'Pop-Up' appeared that said

 

Scroll down

You'll love this

 

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'You have Male!'

baby.gif[/attachment:1u8txui6]

[bullforever]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

An elderly gentleman was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one

evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request

to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart etc.

 

The couple had been married almost 55 years and clearly, they were still very much in love. While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names'

 

The old man hung his head. 'I must tell you the truth,' he said, 'Her name slipped my mind about 5 years ago and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is!'

[muffe]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

Broker: What you become after investing in dot com stocks.

 

Bull: What comes out of your stockbroker's mouth.

 

Bear: What your brokerage account becomes after investing in Enron.

 

Short: What you end up being after shorting stocks in your portfolio.

 

Bond: A thing you used to have between you and your stockbroker before he lost your money.

 

Call: What a stockbroker does when he has a hot tip for you.

 

Tip: What you won't be leaving your waiter, if you invest based on his hot stock ideas.

 

Over the Counter: Where you'll be getting your food from when you go out to dinner, after losing your money in the stock market.

 

Volume: What you turn up on the radio when the financial report comes on.

[waip]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

desperate students 4:

[Phaphwned]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

OMG, the desperate student ones are hilarious!!!

[bullforever]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year and decided to get married.

 

There was only one thing bothering me - her beautiful younger sister. My sister-in-law-to-be was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts and went bra-less.

 

One day she called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she told me she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn' t overcome. She said she wanted to make love to me just once before I married her sister. Of course I was totally shocked and couldn' t say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom now, and if you want one last wild fling, come up and join me."

 

I was stunned as I watched her go up the stairs. At the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down at me. I stood there for a moment, and then turned and made a beeline straight out the front door to my car.

 

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, "We' re so happy that you' ve passed our little test. We couldn' t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"

 

The moral of this story: Always keep your condoms in your car.

[waip]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

desperate students 5:

[ppc123]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

The desperate students series are really funny... =))

[waip]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

desperate students 6:

[Gillybet]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

[center:1a0m6i1y]Trading online is just great.I find it really speeds things up.

I now get my margin calls 5x faster than before. =))[/center:1a0m6i1y]

[waip]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

desperate students 7:

[crus]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

http://www.marriedtothesea.com/122006/no-math-jokes.gif

[Oindah]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

Blood Money

 

A young trader enters into a Cafe Trading. He is looking for beautiful woman to accompany him to trade. After the meeting, the trader immediately kissed her cheek. Women only just smile. Traders try to lick her neck. But the woman, smiling duck. Then they entered the room for transaction. After 1 hour, trader come out with a heroic aura. Not long ago a medical officer entered the room and push the train with the woman lying on it.

Traders had proved a "Descendants of Dracula".

be careful if you are a beautiful woman.

[bullforever]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

Q: What do you call a funeral where you smell your own flowers?

 

A: A wedding.

[bullforever]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

Dumbest kid

 

 

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his Customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

 

 

The barber puts a dollar in one hand and two quarters in the other,

 

 

Then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"

 

 

 

 

 

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

 

 

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

 

 

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar?"

 

 

The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

[bullforever]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

Confessions of a Kid

 

 

Little Tom came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

 

"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."

 

 

Little Tom was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Tom's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Tom, of course, thought he did. Tom's mother wanted Tom to reflect on his behavior over the last year.

 

"Go to your room, Tom, and think about how you have behaved this year.Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday."

 

Little Tom stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

 

Letter 1

Dear God,

 

I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.

 

Your friend,

Tom

 

Tom knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

 

Letter 2

Dear God,

 

This is your friend Tom. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you.

 

Your friend,

Tom

 

Tom knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.

 

Letter 3

Dear God,

 

I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.

 

Tom

 

Tom knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Tom wrote a fourth letter.

 

Letter 4

God,

 

I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.

 

Please! Thank you,

 

Tom

 

Tom knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. Now, Tom was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Tom's mother thought her plan had worked, as Tom looked very sad.

 

"Just be home in time for dinner", Tom's mother told him.

 

Tom walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Tom went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Tom bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary. He slipped the statue under his coat and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.

 

Tom began to write his letter to God.

 

Letter 5

God,

 

I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND ME THE BIKE!!!!!!

[massa]

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

 

Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

A truck driver had the habit of running over lawyers whenever he sees one by the roadside. One day on his way back, a priest asked for a lift and he too stopped the truck and took him in. While they were on their way he saw a lawyer. Due to his usual habit, he went near the lawyer to run him over. Suddenly he realized that the priest was also sitting alongside with him so he steered right and missed him by a whisker.. But he heard a sound but couldn't make out anything.

Priest said, "Don't worry son. I got him with the door"

=)) =)) :)) =)) =)) =)) =D> =D>