*Diary of a Snow Shoveler*

[Hula]

*DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER*

*_December _*8*_ - 6:00 PM_*

It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our coffee and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

*_December 9_*

We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shovelled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplough came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

*_December 12_*

The sun has melted all our lovely snow.. Such a disappointment! My neighbour tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbour.

*_December 14_*

Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shovelling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplough came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shovelling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

*_December 15 _*

20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska , after all.

*_December 16_*

Ice storm this morning. Fell on my bottom on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like the dickens. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

*_December 17_*

Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

*_December 20_*

Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the stuff last night. More shovelling! Took all day. The snowplough came by twice. Tried to find a neighbour kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

*_December 22_*

Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to go to the bathroom. By the time I got undressed, and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plough on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think he is lying.

*_December 23_*

Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

*_December 24_*

6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplough, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the guy who drives that snow plough, I'll drag him through the snow and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the darn snowplough.

*_December 25_*

Merry Christmas! 20 more inches of the slop tonight - Snowed in. The idea of shovelling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplough driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a smarty. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

*_December 26_*

Still snowed in. Why did I ever move here? It was all _HER_ idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

*_December 27_*

Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

*_December 28_*

Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. My WIFE is driving me crazy!!!

*_December 29_**_ _**_

_*10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

*_December 30_*

Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plough driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

*_December 31_*

I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

*_January 8_*

Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

Edited January 9, 2010 by Hula

[⭐ topearn]

Haha, really funny story !!!

[⭐ Dennis]

Hahaha nice little storry :rofl2: :rofl2: