topearn

No wonder those weight-loss clinics will never dare tell its members about this ! They'll go bankrupt in no time at all !

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms. The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of "Here I come again ... ONE, TWO, THREE...UUH!" all night long. In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?" The first mutters, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get a erection." The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?".... "I couldn't even get on the bed!" Don't drink beer Scientists for Health Canada have suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed six pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.

Very Handy........ A young man called Fergus wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart Ciara as they had not been together for very long and he wanted to surprise her. After careful consideration, he decided that a pair of gloves would strike the right note, not too romantic and not too personal. Accompanied by his sister he went to the department store and bought a dainty pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself at the same time. During the wrapping the shop assistant mixed up the two items and the sister got the gloves and Ciara got the panties. Without checking the contents Daragh sealed the package (with akiss) and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note: Dear Ciara, I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for my sister I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair that she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled at all. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart even though they were a little tight on her. She also told me that her pair helps to keep her ring clean and shiny, in fact she had not needed to wash it since she had begun wearing them. I wish I were there to put them on you for the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off remember to blow into them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year. I hope that you will wear them for me on Friday night." All my love.

It is popular in Japan today to drink water immediately after waking up every morning. Furthermore, scientific tests have proven a its value. We publish below a description of use of water for our readers. For old and serious diseases as well as modern illnesses the water treatment had been found successful by a Japanese med ical society as a 100% cure for the following diseases: Headache, body ache, heart system, arthritis, fast heart beat, epilepsy, excess fatness, bronchitis asthma, TB, meningitis, kidney and urine diseases, vomiting, ga str itis, diarrhea, piles, diabetes, constipation, all eye diseases, womb, cancer and ear nose and throat diseases. METHOD OF TREATMENT 1. As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink 4 x 160ml glasses of water .....interesting 2. Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minutes 3. After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal. 4. After 15 minutes of breakfast, lunch and dinner do not eat or drink anything for 2 hours 5. Those who are old or sick and are unable to drink 4 glasses of water at the beginning may commence by taking little water and gradually increase it to 4 glasses per day. 6. The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and others can enjoy a healthy life. The following list gives the number of days of treatment required to cure/control/reduce main diseases: 1. High Blood Pressure - 30 days 2. Ga str ic - 10 days 3. Diabetes - 30 days 4. Constipation - 10 days 5. Cancer - 180 days 6. TB - 90 days 7. Arthritis patients should follow the above treatment only for 3 days in the 1st week, and from 2nd week onwa rd s - daily. This treatment method has no side effects, however at the commencement of treatment you may have to urinate a few times. It is better if we continue this and make this procedure as a routine work in our life. Drink Water and Stay healthy and Active. This makes sense .. The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals ..not cold water. Maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating!!! Nothing to lose, everything to gain... For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed . It will slow down the digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal. A serious note about heart attacks: Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive... A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to everyone they know, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.

smile

Nelson Mandela

coke

Jesus Christ

Haha, really funny story !!!

mountain

summer

Bobby Fisher - chest grandmaster

snow

game

Vanette