in4ex

This is what you would want today!

Be prepared to spend $$$$$$$$$ !

http://www.andrewscourse.com/products/default.htm

The wife's back on the warpath again. Last night she said she wanted to make a sex movie, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.

My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.

I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.

After both suffering from depression for awhile, the wife and I were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, screw it, I'll soldier on!

I woke up this morning at 8 and just felt that something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"

My wife packed my bags and said "GET OUT!!!". As I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.

If you are here on this board...you likely will never have access to enough capital to trade to...get rich!

First seek to make a living!

Hey,

 

Anton Kreil former Goldman Sachs Trader put together a course where he is teaching how professional traders really trade.

 

http://www.instutrade.com/education/professional-trading-masterclass?opt=2

 

The link is above. The course looks very interesting however the price is out of my price range at the moment. And I would really appreciate it if somebody could upload the actual course or might have something similar.

 

Thank You

I like this guy, but they do have a motive!

The fact someone has Bank training has a filtering effect on the courses out there. IOW, use the fact they did work in a trading bank or have made serious $ to filter out the course sellers. This really cuts out the course marketers.

...might have something similar.

Seek out the "Lex Van Dam Trading Academy" course. It's a bit dated now but I hear it gives a real insight into how a hedge fund invests. It should also be similar to training Anton received and they have worked together in the past.

Just remember though...........you need a hedge funds money to trade the way they do!

Many of you might remember him as he featured in the BBC series Million Dollar Traders. Earlier this year he was interviewed at the Cass Business School of London. There are some interesting bits here and there. You can watch part 1 of 6 here:

 

I watched the entire interview as well as the BBC series. Btw, there is a CNBC South Africa version titled "Top Trader". It's very disappointing as they do not use real money, as they do in MDTs. The editing sucks and you get bored quickly. I love how all the loosers walked out at the end in MDTs!

Know that besides selling the course, both Lex Van Dam and Anton Kreil are using the successful traders of the course for head hunting. This is explained in the interview.

• I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

• When chemists die, they barium.

• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

• A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is

now a seasoned veteran.

• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

• How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,

but I'd never met herbivore.

• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .

• They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

• This dyslexic man walks into a bra .

• PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

• A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

• What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds..

• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

• Broken pencils are pointless.

• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

• All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.

Police say they have nothing to go on.

• I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

• Velcro - what a rip off!

• Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

(in USA, the State of Florida is affectionately known as "God's waiting room" because of all the elderly people living/visiting there)

A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments.

"My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.

"Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad; I can't even see my coffee."

"I couldn't even mark an "X" at election time, my hands are so crippled,"volunteered a third.

"What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you!"

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a fourth to which several nodded weakly in agreement.

"My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" exclaimed another.

"I forget where I am, and where I'm going," said another.

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.

The others nodded in agreement.

"Well, count your blessings," said a woman cheerfully - -"thank God we can all still drive."

The guys were on a golf tour. No one wanted to room with John, because

he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them

stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with John and comes to breakfast the next morning

with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.

They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "John snored so

loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same

thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.

They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful! He said, 'Man,

that John shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Henry's turn. He was a tanned, older golfer, a

man's man.. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and

bushy- tailed.

"Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it.. They said, "Man,

what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and

tucked John into bed, patted him on the arse, and kissed him good

night on the lips. John sat up and watched me all night."

With age comes wisdom.

Good thing to know!

Mayo Clinic

How many folks do you know who say they don't want to drink anything before going to bed because they'll have to get up during the night!!

Heart Attack and Water - I never knew all of this ! Interesting.......

Something else I didn't know ... I asked my Doctor why people need to urinate so much at night time. Answer from my Cardiac Doctor - Gravity holds water in the lower part of your body when you are upright (legs swell). When you lie down and the lower body (legs and etc) seeks level with the kidneys, it is then that the kidneys remove the water because it is easier. This then ties in with the last statement!

I knew you need your minimum water to help flush the toxins out of your body, but this was news to me.

Correct time to drink water...

Very Important. From A Cardiac Specialist!

Drinking water at a certain time maximizes its effectiveness on the body: 2 glasses of water after waking up - helps activate internal organs

1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal - helps digestion

1 glass of water before taking a bath - helps lower blood pressure

1 glass of water before going to bed - avoids stroke or heart attack

I can also add to this...

My Physician told me that water at bed time will also help prevent night time leg cramps. Your leg muscles are seeking hydration when they cramp and wake you up with a Charlie Horse.

Subject: Mayo Clinic on Aspirin - PASS IT ON

Mayo Clinic Aspirin Dr. Virend Somers, is a Cardiologist from the Mayo Clinic, who is lead author of the report in the July 29, 2008 issue of the Journal of the American College of Cardiology.

Most heart attacks occur in the day, generally between 6 A.M. and noon. Having one during the night, when the heart should be most at rest, means that something unusual happened. Somers and his colleagues have been working for a decade to show that sleep apnea is to blame.

1. If you take an aspirin or a baby aspirin once a day, take it at night.

The reason: Aspirin has a 24-hour "half-life"; therefore, if most heart attacks happen in the wee hours of the morning, the Aspirin would be strongest in your system.

2. FYI, Aspirin lasts a really long time in your medicine chest for years, (when it gets old, it smells like vinegar).

Please read on.

Something that we can do to help ourselves - nice to know.

Bayer is making crystal aspirin to dissolve instantly on the tongue.

They work much faster than the tablets.

Why keep Aspirin by your bedside? It's about Heart Attacks -

There are other symptoms of a heart attack, besides the pain on the left arm. One must also be aware of an intense pain on the chin, as well as nausea and lots of sweating; however, these symptoms may also occur less frequently.

Note: There may be NO pain in the chest during a heart attack.

The majority of people (about 60%) who had a heart attack during their sleep did not wake up.

However, if it occurs, the chest pain may wake you up from your deep sleep.

If that happens, immediately dissolve two aspirins in your mouth and swallow them with a bit of water.

Afterwards: - Call 911. - Phone a neighbor or a family member who lives very close by.

- Say "heart attack!" - Say that you have taken 2 Aspirins. - Take a seat on a chair or sofa near the front door, and wait for their arrival and ...DO NOT LIE DOWN!

A Cardiologist has stated that if each person after receiving this e-mail, sends it to 10 people, probably one life could be saved!

I have already shared this information. What about you?

Do forward this message. It may save lives!

"Life is a one time gift"

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

~ Henry Cate, VII

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We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

~ Aesop

----------------

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.

~ Will Rogers

---------------

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

~ Plato

-------------------

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.

~ Nikita Khrushchev

----------------------

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President;

I'm beginning to believe it

~ Clarence Darrow

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Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.

~ Author Unknown

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If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

~ Jay Leno

------------------------

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.

~ John Quinton

--------------------------------

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.

~ Oscar Ameringer

----------------------------

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.

~ Adlai Stevenson, Campaign Speech, 1952

--------------

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

~ Texas Guinan

-------------------------

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

~ Charles de Gaulle

----------------------------

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession . I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

~ Ronald Reagan

---------------------------

Politics: [Poly "many" + tics "blood-sucking parasites"]

~ Larry Hardiman

--------------------------

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

~ Doug Larson

https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/ItXKGyO6cRA?rel=0

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