KayWbGV

Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything... tutors, mentors, flash cards, Special learning centers. In short, everything they could think of to help his math. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down an d enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother Hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner. To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and i n no time, he was back Hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Zachary brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his Mom looked at it and to her great surprise, Little Zachary got an "A" in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?" Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head no. "Well, then," she said, Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT ALREADY?" Little Zachary looked at her and said, "Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around about math!" FORWARD THIS TO ANYBODY WHO NEEDS A GOOD LAUGH.

I would like to wish everyone who celebrates it a HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!! And wish everyone a GOOD DAY!!!

Happy Canada Day to all the Canooks (transplanted in or out or otherwise LOL)

Thanx for sharing that one. Friendship is an awesome gift that we all take for granted too often (IMHO)

Good one skylady. Now, One for the girls... Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my shape to keep. Please no wrinkles, Please no bags And please lift my butt before it sags. Please no age spots, Please no gray And as for my belly, Please take it away. Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young, And thank you Dear Lord, For all that you've done. Five tips for a woman..... 1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job. 2. It is important that a man makes you laugh. 3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to You. 4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you. 5. It is important that these four men don't know each other. Foot Note: One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: 'If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts.'

Sorry, couldn't help myself, had to pass this one along! Presidential candidates Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John Mc Cain were flying to a debate. Barack looked at Hillary, Chuckled and said, 'You know I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.' Hillary shrugged her shoulders and replied, 'I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy.' John added, 'That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy.' Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his copilot, 'Such big-shots back there. I could throw all three of them out of the window and make 156 million people very happy.' I'm voting for the Pilot :jiggy:

Thanx Skylady :). Now, a little bit about living in 2008. YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen. 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee. 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself. Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to. The sad thing is, this isn't really a joke--it's all toooo true LOL

"Doctor, I'd like you to evaluate my 13-year-old son." "He's suffering from a transient psychosis with an intermittent rage disorder, punctuated by episodic radical mood swings, but his prognosis is good for a full recovery." "How can you say all of that without even meeting him?" "Didn't you say he was 13?"

Well, yeah. This is a family friendly place so we should all "say no to crack" LOL This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally worked up the energy to go out and ask his wife what was for supper. Well, his wife was quite irritated about him sitting in the air conditioned house all day while she did all the work, so she scolded him. "I can't believe you're asking me about supper right now! Imagine I'm out of town, go inside and figure dinner out yourself." So, he went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak with potatoes, garlic bread and a tall glass of iced tea. His wife finally walked in about the time he was finishing up and asked him, "You fixed something to eat? So, where's mine?" "Huh? I thought you were out of town." Not sure when his funeral is but I imagine it's soon LOL

Had to say thanx for tellin me about this place Tina. Looks like it's gonna be a lot of fun.

Thanx for the welcome :) :wink4: :laugh2: I'll throw in a couple bananas of my own LOL ;)

DUCT TAPE USE #317 I have to tell you that I have never seen a better use for duct tape in my life. Makes you want to require everyone to carry a roll for emergencies.

I'd just like to say hi from Wild & Wonderful West Virginia. Thanx to my sister (cbconti) for inviting me in here. I'm looking forward to getting to know you all (or seeing old friends in some cases I imagine LOL)