in4ex Posted October 3, 2013 Report Posted October 3, 2013 The wife's back on the warpath again. Last night she said she wanted to make a sex movie, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part. My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off. I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it. After both suffering from depression for awhile, the wife and I were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, screw it, I'll soldier on! I woke up this morning at 8 and just felt that something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30. The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!" My wife packed my bags and said "GET OUT!!!". As I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!" I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex. Quote
BobGill Posted October 16, 2014 Report Posted October 16, 2014 "defrosting the fridge last night" never heard it lol Quote
Guest Pedro Marіa Posted February 26, 2017 Report Posted February 26, 2017 Very strange and at the same time funny jokes, I guess the author of these words didn't love his wife very much..) Quote
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