strosdegoz Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel. -Will Kommen I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up. -Dean Martin I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. -Calvin Trillin My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping. -Rita Rudner My husband wanted one of those big-screen TV's for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. -Wendy Liebman I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes - and six months later you have to start all over again. -Joan Rivers My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. -Henny Youngman Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. -Bob Thaves He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals. -Ben Franklin I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. -Rodney Dangerfield My doctor is wonderful. Once, when I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up the x-rays. -Joey Bishop Quote *** Cycle 2 Riches - Real No-Sponsoring - PreLaunch ***All Brand New Income Opportunity BlogClub-Asteria *Stable w/ Passive Income* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest herry Posted June 24, 2010 Report Share Posted June 24, 2010 Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us. Earl Nightingale Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jackth Posted June 28, 2010 Report Share Posted June 28, 2010 Before Footloose, the things I'd done weren't cute. In Diner I was an alcoholic. Kevin Bacon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dino Posted July 8, 2010 Report Share Posted July 8, 2010 A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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