Alvin

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website

This thread seems to be stuck - no one can come up with P - Peter - 1 of the 13 disciples of Jesus

Howday

cards

songs

Mahatma Ghandi

Lee Hsien Loong - Singapore Prime Minister

US President Kennedy

Joy

Genie joke A woman is walking along a beach when she finds an old oil lamp. She picks it up and rubs it, and out comes a genie. The genie says to the woman, "Thank you for freeing me from the oil lamp. I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish for, your horrible ex-husband will get twice as much. What is your first wish?" The woman says, "I'd like a million dollars in my bank account, please!" The genie says, "You now have a million dollars in your bank account, and your ex-husband now has two million dollars. What is your second wish?" The woman says, "I've always wanted a nice car. I'd like a brand new Rolls-Royce, please!" The genie says, "You now have a new Rolls-Royce in your garage at home, and your ex-husband now has two new Rolls-Royces. What is your third wish?" The woman thought for a while and then said, "I'd like you to remove one of my kidneys, please!"

God and the man A man visits God and says "God, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" God says "No, ask me anything at all." So the man says "God, you've been around for a very long time, so, for you, how long is a thousand years?" God replies "For me, a thousand years is only five minutes." The man then says "That's interesting God. And, for you, how much is a million dollars?" God replies "For me, a million dollars is only five cents." The man says "Really? Well then God, could you lend me five cents please?" God looks at the man, smiles, and says "Of course my son. Just wait five minutes!"

Penguin A man was walking along Hietzinger Hauptstrasse near Parkhotel Schönbrunn when he found a penguin walking along the road. So he picked it up and took it to the local police station. He said to the policeman "I found this penguin on Hietzinger Hauptstrasse, near Parkhotel Schönbrunn. What should I do with it?" The policeman looked at the man and said "It's obvious what you should do with it! Take the penguin to Schönbrunn Zoo. The man said "Of course, I'll take it to the zoo" and he left the police station with the penguin under his arm. The next day the policeman was on duty in the city centre when he saw the man walking along the street with the penguin by his side. The policeman stopped the man and said "I thought I told you to take the penguin to the zoo?" The man replied "Yes, I took it to the zoo yesterday. Today I'm taking it to see the Opera House."

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding. Officer: May i see your licence? Lady: what does it look like? Officer: its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it. The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer. The officer opens it up and says 'if you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over.'