It can buy you a House,

But not a Home.

It can buy you a Bed,

But not Sleep.

It can buy you a Clock,

But not Time.

It can buy you a Book,

But not Knowledge.

It can buy you a Position,

But not Respect.

It can buy you Medicine,

But not Health.

It can buy you Blood,

But not Life.

It can buy you Sex,

But not Love.

So you see, money isn't everything. The best things in life can't be bought, and often we destroy ourselves trying!

I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want to take away your needless pain and suffering...

So send me all your money and I will suffer for you.

A truer Friend than me you will never find.

CASH ONLY, PLEASE

Are there any other trader movies or documentaries others think are worth watching? Nothing heavy just for fun.

I stumbled across this one, CBT final few years of opencry.

Floored

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--H8SY334Zw

What's the difference between buying a lottery ticket and buying a penny stock? In the first case, you help finance your local community swimming pool. In the second case, you help finance the stock promoters home pool.

My broker and I are working on a retirement plan. Unfortunately, it's his!

A long term investment is a short term investment that failed.

A stockbroker is someone who invests your money till it's all gone!

It was so cold today I saw a stockbroker with his hands in his own pockets.

A market analyst is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today!

I'm thinking of leaving my husband, complained the broker's wife. "All he ever does is stand at the end of the bed and tell me how good things are going to be."

Momentum Investing: The fine art of buying high and selling low.

Value Investing: The art of buying low and selling lower

Q: Why did God create stock analysts ?

A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.

attractive woman.. He gives her a quick glance then casually

looks at his watch for a moment..

The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running

late?' 'No', he replies, 'I just got this state-of the-art

watch, and I was just testing it. 'The intrigued woman says,

'a state-of-the-art watch?' 'What's so special about it?'

The Aussie explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me

telepathically.' The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?'

Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.'

The woman giggles and replies

'Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!'

The Aussie smiles, taps his watch and says,

'Bloody thing's an hour fast!'

How was your trading week ..?

Trader answers .. excellent .. and also got a dog for my wife ..

First trader answers.. Now that's a fantastic trade..

Good trading wishes

"What are you doing with all those penguins!? You can't drive around with them in your car. You need to take them straight to the zoo."

He writes the guy a speeding ticket and the guy drives off toward the zoo.

Next day, the same car flies by. The cop pulls the guy over and the penguins are still on the back seat.

"I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!"

Guy replies, "I did. They loved it! So today we're going to the movies."

- Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

- My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the heck she is.

- The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

- I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

- I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

- I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

- I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

- The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

- If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

- And last but not least: I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

- You could run this over to your friends but why not just e-mail it to them!

-- Michael Jackson's memorial was on 7/7/09

-- Michael Jackson's two biggest hits -- "Black & White" and "Billie Jean" -- were each #1 for 7 weeks.

-- Michael Jackson's three biggest albums -- "Thriller," "Bad" and "Dangerous" -- each produced 7 top 40 hits.

-- Michael Jackson was the 7th of 9 children.

-- Michael Jackson was born in 1958 ... 19 + 58 = 77

-- Michael Jackson died on the 25th ... 2 + 5 = 7

-- Michael Jackson has 7 letters in his first and last name. Michael=7 Jackson=7

are you feeling goosebumps now? :-S :-ss :-S :-ss :-S :

It's a sure win game.

he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them

stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with John and comes to breakfast the next morning

with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.

They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "John snored so

loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same

thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.

They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful! He said, 'Man,

that John shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Henry's turn. He was a tanned, older golfer, a

man's man.. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and

bushy- tailed.

"Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it.. They said, "Man,

what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and

tucked John into bed, patted him on the arse, and kissed him good

night on the lips. John sat up and watched me all night."

With age comes wisdom.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM :

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:

You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:

You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You worship them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public buys your bull.

'

• When chemists die, they barium.

• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

• A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is

now a seasoned veteran.

• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

• How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,

but I'd never met herbivore.

• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .

• They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

• This dyslexic man walks into a bra .

• PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

• A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

• What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds..

• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

• Broken pencils are pointless.

• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

• All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.

Police say they have nothing to go on.

• I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

• Velcro - what a rip off!

• Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.

I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.

After both suffering from depression for awhile, the wife and I were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, screw it, I'll soldier on!

I woke up this morning at 8 and just felt that something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"

My wife packed my bags and said "GET OUT!!!". As I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.

It all begins with a frustrated trader asking the 'God':

Trader: "What is a million years in your perception?"

God: "like a second."

Trader: "What is a million dollars like to you?"

God: "Like a penny."

Trader: "Can I ask for a penny?"

God: "Just a second..."

Trader: "!!!???"

Coba kita share yuk tingkah laku yg aneh dari kita2 ato teman2 sesama investor / trader yg pernah kita liat. Biasanya seh ada aneh saat salah pasang posisi :D Yah tingkah laku aneh tapi nyata (tidak dibuat2, terjadi karena mreka lagi stress) Aku mulai yah.

- Salah satu temen aku terkenal dengan sistem tiup & ludah. Dalam arti kalau dia pengen harga naik, dia akan meniup monitor dari bawah monitor. Kalo pengen harga turun di ludahin dari atas :mrgreen:

Duh laptop jadi korban tuh :D

- Trus aku pernah denger tadi bahwa saat salah posisi temen di palembang ada yg nyalain korek api dibawah monitor biar harganya naik. :P

Ada yg aneh lainnya?

Regards,

http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/3872/funnyaw.jpg

Cats do what they want. They rarely listen to you. They're totally unpredictable. When you want to play, they want to be alone. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They expect you to cater to their every whim. They're moody. They leave hair everywhere.

Conclusion: They're tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?

Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the next room. They can look dumb and lovable at the same time. They growl when they are not happy. When you want to play, they want to play. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They leave their toys everywhere. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

Conclusion: They're tiny men in little fur coats.

Funny quotes

1) The difference between running and walking is a lot more apparent when you have to go to the bathroom.

2) What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold my purse"

3) The road to success is always under construction.

4) Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it.

5) I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong

6) If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.

7) Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

8) Men are like bank accounts.

Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

9) If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.

10) Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

11) You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'

12) The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

13) Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back