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Indo Investasi Joke Thread

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  • #16
    Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

    An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?'

    The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!''

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

      A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.

      "It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."

      The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers--we had $100 when we broke in!"

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

        A truck driver had the habit of running over lawyers whenever he sees one by the roadside. One day on his way back, a priest asked for a lift and he too stopped the truck and took him in. While they were on their way he saw a lawyer. Due to his usual habit, he went near the lawyer to run him over. Suddenly he realized that the priest was also sitting alongside with him so he steered right and missed him by a whisker.. But he heard a sound but couldn't make out anything.
        Priest said, "Don't worry son. I got him with the door"

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        • #19
          Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

          "Don't worry son. I got him with the door"
          Huahahahaha :lol: :mrgreen:

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

            The Porsche of the stockbroker

            A successful stockbroker parked his brand-new Porsche in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and tore off the door on the driver's side. The stockbroker immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the stockbroker started screaming hysterically.
            His Porsche, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined. When the stockbroker finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can not believe how materialistic you stock brokers are," the cop said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
            "How can you say such a thing?" ( asked the stockbroker. The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
            "My God!" screamed the stockbroker. "My Rolex!"

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

              A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?'" "That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship." The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?" One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed "Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!"

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

                [center:2ddfjn8q]"If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice."[/center:2ddfjn8q]

                [center:2ddfjn8q]Norman R. Augustine [/center:2ddfjn8q]

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

                  Two traders are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in, waving guns and yelling for everyone to freeze. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the two traders, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, and other valuables. While this is going on, one of the traders jams something into the other trader's hand. Without looking down, the second trader whispers: "What is this?" The first trader: "It's the $100 I owe you!"

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

                    For those who have a difficult time understanding how we can go from crisis to recovery in a few short months, here it is in simple terms:

                    It is the month of August, on the shores of the Black Sea. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

                    Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town.

                    He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.

                    The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher.

                    The butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig grower.

                    The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel.

                    The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the town's prostitute that in these hard times, gave her "services" on credit.

                    The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.

                    The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.

                    At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.

                    No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.

                    And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States Government is doing business

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

                      Some more interesting quotes
                      -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                      We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

                      We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

                      Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

                      Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

                      I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

                      To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

                      A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

                        A car mechanic received a repair order that said to check for a clanking noise when going around corners so he took the car out for a test drive and made a right turn, then a left turn, each time hearing a loud clunk.

                        When he arrived back at the garage he returned the car to the service manager with this note: 'Removed bowling ball from trunk.'

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

                          1. I got in a fight with my wife last night and it was totally my fault.

                          She asked me what was on the TV and I said: dust.

                          Didn't go too well after that.

                          2. 'You should be ashamed,' the father told his son, Andy, 'When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he used to walk ten miles every day to get to school.'

                          'Really?' Andy responded. 'Well, when he was your age, he was president.'

                          3. Paul, a senior official in his company, walked into a London bank and asked to see the loan's manager.

                          He said he was going to America on business for two weeks and needed to borrow £10,000 [$19,000USD]. The loan manager said that the bank would need some collateral for such a loan.

                          Paul immediately handed over the keys of a Mercedes that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as security for the loan.

                          An employee then drove the Mercedes into the bank's underground garage and parked it there. Two weeks later the Paul returned, repaid the £10,000 and the interest, which amounted to some £9.41 [$18USD].

                          The loan officer said, 'We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow £10,000?'

                          With a broad grin Paul responded, 'Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for less than £10?'

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

                            This's nice. Thanks bro. Kudos given.

                            Regards,

                            Originally posted by bullforever
                            For those who have a difficult time understanding how we can go from crisis to recovery in a few short months, here it is in simple terms:

                            It is the month of August, on the shores of the Black Sea. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

                            Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town.

                            He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.

                            The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher.

                            The butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig grower.

                            The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel.

                            The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the town's prostitute that in these hard times, gave her "services" on credit.

                            The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.

                            The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.

                            At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.

                            No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.

                            And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States Government is doing business

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

                              I laughed at this one....

                              [center:1038iub8]The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried.[/center:1038iub8]

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: Indo Investasi Joke Thread

                                desperate students 2:

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