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Thread: The good wife

  1. #1
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    The good wife

    The wife's back on the warpath again. Last night she said she wanted to make a sex movie, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.


    My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.


    I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.


    After both suffering from depression for awhile, the wife and I were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, screw it, I'll soldier on!


    I woke up this morning at 8 and just felt that something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.



    The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"



    My wife packed my bags and said "GET OUT!!!". As I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"


    I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.

  2. #2
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    lol :p

    funny you

  3. #3
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    Sounds like my wife haha

  4. #4
    chutzpah Array BobGill's Avatar
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    "defrosting the fridge last night" never heard it lol

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    Very strange and at the same time funny jokes, I guess the author of these words didn't love his wife very much..)

  6. #6
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    LOL=) good one

  7. #7
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    hahahaha/......

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