PUN-ography

• I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

• When chemists die, they barium.

• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

• A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is

now a seasoned veteran.

• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

• How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,

but I'd never met herbivore.

• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .

• They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

• This dyslexic man walks into a bra .

• PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

• A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

• What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds..

• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

• Broken pencils are pointless.

• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

• All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.

Police say they have nothing to go on.

• I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

• Velcro - what a rip off!

• Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.