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Funny quotes


psaini1973

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FUNNY QUOTES :)

 

Funny quotes

 

1) The difference between running and walking is a lot more apparent when you have to go to the bathroom.

 

2) What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold my purse"

 

3) The road to success is always under construction.

 

4) Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it.

 

5) I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong

 

6) If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.

 

7) Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

 

8) Men are like bank accounts.

Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

 

9) If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.

 

10) Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

 

11) You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'

 

12) The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

 

13) Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back

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A woman was just getting out of the shower when the doorbell rang. She threw on her towel and went to the door. Dave, a poker buddy of her husband’s was there. He looked at her in her towel for a minute and whispered “I’ll give you $500 right now if you take of your towel for just 10 seconds! That’s $50 a second!” She thought about it a second, and then took off her towel. He smiled, gave her the money and walked away. When she walked back into the bedroom, her husband asked “Was that Dave? Did he bring the $500 he owed me?”
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